Recreate your Life in 7 Steps

by Philip Sherman

How can we completely change and transform our lives?

The following 7 steps for a total life makeover are quite easy to understand, but will serve no value unless they are implemented and acted upon. Don't just read over these ideas, but actually start to take action and incorporate them into your daily life! Many people upon hearing something truly helpful, simple, and wise will often respond, "I know" or "I have heard this before." What they also might be quietly saying to themselves is, "I understand this idea, but I am not ready or willing to try." Until this person can change their life philosophy that "knowing is enough, and action is not necessary," then there is no system, person, or power in the universe, including God, that will be able to help. Maybe this is what is meant by the saying, "God can only help those who help themselves." God, in this sense, means the divine force found in life, and also the great power that resides within us.

"Vision without action is a daydream.
Action without vision is a nightmare."
~ Japanese Proverb

In order for us to make any big changes in our lives, or move beyond some challenging situation that we might presently be in, we are going to have to call upon and use the 3 core aspects of who we really are.

Mind - Body - Spirit

"Mind" is the creative, logical, mental force that allows us to organize, create and construct things in various ways. In this blog, I will use "mind" as a word to represent thought.

"Body" can be thought of as our actual physical body, or energy that has slowed down and become a semi-solid form of some kind. (Nothing is truly "solid," but only vibrating at different rates - including our own human body.)

"Spirit" is the energy and essence of all that is, but for the purposes of this blog, "spirit" will be used as a word to represent our feelings and emotions, which for some people, is also commonly known as the heart.

There is one other part, "space" or "emptiness," which I would like to explain, but can't, as it is impossible to explain "nothing" except to say that it is not any thing. The only thing that is necessary to understand for right now is that space is the nothingness that enables mind, body and spirit to be.

I like to use the image of water in a pitcher to better explain how mind, body, spirit, and space interact and work together. The actual water pitcher represents our body, the physical container that we all have; which is then filled with water, representing the thoughts of the mind; which then, when poured out, or expressed, represents the feelings, emotions, and spirit that flow out from the heart. The space within the pitcher is the emptiness that enables this whole process and outpouring to occur.

The Seven Steps

Here are the 7 steps which address different aspects of the body, mind, and heart. These 7 steps should ideally be worked on and mastered in the order presented below, progressing slowly but surely, one by one:

Step 1. Exercise and eat right; and make an effort to stay in areas of fairly bright light.

The body is the foundation and grand temple from which all the powers of our mind and spirit are created, stored, and flow. If the body is tired, overworked or weak, it will become quite difficult to become or achieve anything greater in life. This is why it is important to work on and improve the condition of our physical body at first before attempting to recreate our whole life.

Earlier, I compared our body to a water pitcher. If this pitcher has any cracks or holes in it, it will not be able to properly do its job. If we have any serious physical health issues or are perhaps burdening the body with too much work or weight, it will also become quite challenging to do even the simplest or most basic things in life. Take daily walks, exercise regularly, get enough rest, and try to eat healthier foods - and if necessary, a little bit less. The body is the machine that depending on its condition can either weigh us down, or carry us forward in life.

Unfortunately, not all of us have perfect, 100% healthy bodies, but that does not necessarily mean that the game of life is over, but just that we will have to create and develop other aspects of ourselves in different, and perhaps unique and interesting ways.

Here is a 5 minute video clip of Kyle Maynard, one of my personal heroes. Anytime that I feel like complaining, or think that life just isn't fair, I remember people like Kyle, and am quickly put back in my place. After watching how people like Kyle manage to stay positive, happy and even laugh about life, I almost feel ashamed to complain or get depressed about the relatively tiny, trivial problems that I might be experiencing at the time.

The main difference between super-humans such as Kyle and most other people, including myself, is in the incredible amount of willpower, determination, and unshakable positive focus that they have. Keep your body as healthy and fit as possible; and if you do have some type of challenging physical condition, this just means that you are going to have to develop and rely on the powers of your mind and heart all the more. "Where there is a will, there is a way" has always proven to be true.

It has also been scientifically shown that sunshine and other forms of bright light are extremely beneficial for our general health, keeping of a good mood, and overall well-being. Try to make your home or office as bright, positive and cheery as possible. Avoid resting and staying in dark places for too long; and try to take frequent walks in nature, especially during the daytime.

Step 2. Straighten up your house, throw away the junk, and better manage and simplify your life.

It is not just a coincidence that oftentimes, perpetually depressed people live in cluttered, messy environments, and quite often disregard their own personal hygiene and health as well. While it might sound overly simplistic, perhaps one of the easiest ways to get out of a negative situation is to clean up your surroundings and take better care of yourself. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

A clean house and healthy body will help to guide and compel the mind to start thinking in more positive and productive ways.

For some people, maybe getting a haircut, or trying a new fashion makeover will be enough to set their heart and mind back on the right track. Simply doing the laundry, or giving your pet a bath could also help to initially turn things around. I remember as a college student, just buying some nice, inexpensive little decorations for my apartment from a thrift store totally changed both the mood of my apartment as well as my own. The point here is to show more love for yourself by tidying up the surroundings that you live and work in. A person who truly loves themselves would simply not live in an environment that others might jokingly consider hazardous to your health!

Use calendars and schedule books to better organize your life as well, and be sure to wake up at consistent, ideally earlier times of the day. You want to establish more control over your life, rather than feel that your life is a runaway train of random events that is basically controlling you. There was a time when I was taking a short break between jobs, but I still found that regularly getting up early in the morning kept my mind, body and spirit healthy and in check. Too little sleep is not good for the body, but too much sleep is not good for the soul! Try to sleep somewhere between 6 to 8 hours, and an occasional afternoon nap is perfectly O.K!

I have personally gotten out of some deep ruts in the past simply by forcing myself to get up earlier, exercising, and cleaning up my house. (I also took cold showers, but I will discuss that warrior strategy in a future blog.) These are some simple strategies that don't overly burden the mind, but simply involve cleaning up, de-cluttering, and better organizing the basic physical elements of your life. As I have said earlier, reading this is easy, but the only way to reap the rewards is by actually doing it. You don't have to accomplish all of these things in one day. Clean up little areas, and start to better organize small parts of your life, slowly but surely, day by day. I have worked on this website, for example, for about 20 minutes every day, and after about half a year, it has grown into something that I could have never possibly imagined when I first started out. Slowly but surely, one step at a time, really does enable us to win the race.

"Faith is taking the first step
even when you don't see the whole staircase."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Step 3. Clearly understand why you want to change, and what the consequences are if you don't.

New Year's Resolutions are a perfect example of how difficult it is to make any positive life changes last. There are many who sincerely want to quit smoking, go on a diet, or become more patient in life, but simply either can't begin, or give up on their dreams within a few days or weeks. Why?

There are 7 key reasons why personal change is so challenging for some:

They are getting a more positive benefit or emotionally supportive feeling from NOT changing, rather than from changing.

They don't want to change, or simply don't care.

They are stuck in habits or programs from the past that they can't physically or mentally break away from, or are not consciously aware of.

They can't yet imagine the future benefits or merits of changing right now.

They don't have a good strategy or understand how to change.

They have a tendency to be reactive to life and externally controlled, rather than be internally driven and creators of their own life.

They don't have a good, compelling enough reason to change.

In this blog, I would like to expand upon that last point, "They don't have a good, compelling enough reason to change." Having a good and compelling reason might be one of the most powerful motivators that, if properly leveraged and used, can empower a person to carry on despite all odds, and accomplish seemingly impossible things.

In order to actually change, we are going to have to take action, but in order to take action, it will be necessary to find an important, compelling reason to change, and to clearly understand why this change is absolutely necessary.

Here are some questions to consider:

How will changing positively benefit myself and other people?
What is the worst possible thing that could potentially happen if I choose not to change?

If you can clearly understand the answers to these two simple questions, then making the effort to actually change will not be very difficult at all. The problem for many is that the personal goals that they have set for themselves are more like wishes or dreams, rather than something that they can clearly see, fully understand, and honestly believe is not only possible, but also absolutely necessary for them to do. It is often said that "knowledge is power," but perhaps an even more powerful statement would be, "clarity is power." In other words - to clearly understand WHAT you want to do, HOW to effectively do it, and most importantly, WHY you want to do it.

"I want to lose weight."

This is one of the most common goals that many people from around the world continually set for themselves; and according to the World Health Organization, 7 out of 10 Americans are now considered to be overweight. I will not go into the actual nuts and bolts of how to lose weight, as there are many different systems that might prove to be effective. What method or strategy you decide upon is entirely up to you. I would, however, like to talk about the accompanying mindset that is necessary for accomplishing such a goal.

An effective diet should not involve a temporary change in how we eat or how much we exercise over a short time, but a permanent change in our daily routines, personal habits and overall lifestyle. This basic concept holds true for any type of lasting change that we would like to make in our life. You can't effectively change a bad habit without also making important, permanent changes to your entire lifestyle and daily routines.

Let's imagine that a 35-year-old mother of two children, ages 5 and 7, wants to go on a diet. Here is how she might consider answering the previously mentioned questions:

How will changing positively benefit myself and other people?

"By losing this weight, I will feel healthier and have more energy and motivation to try new things; and I can enjoy more quality time with the people that I love, including my children and my spouse. Becoming thinner will also help to raise my self-esteem, and hopefully enable me to live a longer, more productive life in which I can further develop myself and more effectively help out other people in some way."

What is the worst possible thing that could potentially happen if I choose not to change?

"I could possibly develop some sort of serious, life threatening condition at an early age, suffer from chronic fatigue, low self-esteem, or even deep depression. Being greatly overweight will most likely shorten my life expectancy as well."

Clearly understanding why we have to change, and the consequences if we don't, will help us to start taking action and making that change become real in our lives.

Change and grow not only for yourself,
but also for the sake of other people.

Step 4. Decide on who and what you want to become, and then live and breathe that role 24 hours a day until you have become what you have always wanted to be.

The reason why the saying "Fake it until you make it" is so often quoted in self-development circles is that this advice is so powerfully effective. If you have ever studied drama, or been in a school play, then the following suggestions listed below will be all the easier for you to practice and understand.

Before we continue, I know that there are some people who might say that an activity such as this, of creating a new and somewhat different image and identity for yourself is just being fake, inauthentic, and denying the truth of who you really are. I would reply that striving to create a new image for yourself is not denying who you presently are, but being more open and willing to explore all of the other exciting possibilities that you could potentially be.

The happiest and most successful people in life tend to be those who can easily re-invent themselves and flexibly adjust to the ever-changing world that they are in.

You don't have to completely change from who you are now, but it is still important to try to continually grow in some way, big or small. Be warned, however, that if a person chooses to not change and grow from where they are at right now, then it will be almost impossible for them to be able to do, achieve, or experience anything substantially greater in life later on.

Change and growth are one of the main reasons and key points of life.

How to Build a Greater You and Expand Upon Yourself

Imagine what you would like to be or want, and then reverse engineer from that future goal or dream, and determine exactly what kind of person you would have to become in order to get or achieve whatever you want.

Now, create this role and character in your mind, with as much detail as possible.

You could approach this in the same way as an actor approaches building up the qualities and characteristics of the next character that they are going to play on stage.

Here are some good role-building questions:

What is your main interest and goal in life?
What kind of clothes would you typically wear?
How would you walk and talk?
How would you act in your public, and private life?
What kind of friends would you have?
How would other people relate to you as this "new and improved" person?

Another great technique for re-inventing yourself is to start becoming involved and surrounding yourself with people who are, or have achieved the results or lifestyle that you would also like have. If you would like to become a web designer, for example, start going to the places where web designers typically hang out, and watch and try to model how they think and act. If possible, try to honestly befriend a few web designers, just to really get a true sense of what their world is like.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote a classic book, widely known in the self-development community, "Psycho-Cybernetics," back in 1960. In this book, he stressed that the self-image that we create for ourselves predominantly controls what we will be and achieve in life. Here is a 2 part video from over 50 years ago, in which he summarizes the basic concepts of his book, which has remained a classic to this day:

Psycho-Cybernetics: Lessons 1-5 (9 minutes)
Psycho-Cybernetics: Lessons 6-12 (9 minutes)

Changing your self-image can literally change your life - and it all starts with the mental self-concepts that are created in the mind.

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."
~ William Shakespeare

Step 5. Decorate your room with things that will help you to move towards becoming the greater person that you want to be. Also consider making dream boards and practice visualization techniques.

A young boy who dreams of becoming a professional baseball player one day might have many posters of his favorite baseball players hanging in his room. He might also have his baseball cap and glove sitting on a table next to his bed. While this might just be a temporary fantasy or growing up stage for some, there are also those who actually go on to become professional baseball players.

Now, suppose that a young lady wanted to become an animal doctor. She would greatly benefit from putting up many pictures of the animals that she would like to care for around her room, perhaps get a few pets of her own, and even place some empty medicine bottles and other medical supplies on her dresser to represent in her mind the future that she would like to have as a veterinarian. If she was really motivated, she could even ask to have her picture taken inside a local animal hospital while posing with some of the vets.

This technique may sound somewhat childish, but trust me, it actually works. Surrounding yourself with simple images and reminders of what you really want in life seriously does help in bringing such wishes more quickly into your real world.

Another strategy would be to create a "dream board" or "vision board," which is a board that you decorate with words and images of the things and experiences that you would like to have. There are literally thousands of people, both famous and not so famous, that attribute their success to such boards.

Hanging up pictures, using dream boards, and setting up little props around your house are really just different types of a process known as creative visualization. Creative visualization involves mentally imagining, feeling and creating clear, detailed, concrete images of some result, object or experience that you would like to have come into your life. Here is a short and simple explanation on how to visualize.

I am currently in the process of writing a longer and more detailed blog, e-book, and home course specifically focused on the whole process of visualization - what the steps are, how to do it, and what to do during the waiting periods; as well as showing some real life examples that I have personally achieved. If you would like to be notified as to when these materials will be made available, please go to my Contact Page and send me an e-mail asking about this.

Step 6. Use different types of affirmations that focus on a gradual process of improvement and growth rather than on merely achieving quick results.

Now you may be thinking that all of these techniques such as strategically decorating your house, role playing your future life right now, and using affirmations to mechanically drill some ideas into your head are just different forms of personal brainwashing - and up to a point I would totally agree. But here is another thing to consider - wouldn't it be naive to think that society, television, and even our own family and best friends are not also "brainwashing," programing, and conditioning us in some way?

The reality is that we are all constantly being "brainwashed" by the various people and events that we encounter in life. Brainwashing in this sense is virtually inescapable. So if that is the case, wouldn't you prefer to "brainwash" and program yourself, rather than let some random, outside source "brainwash" and manipulate you?

We all have a choice - to consciously decide what we want to do and be in life; and if we chose not to decide, then most likely somebody else will.

Traditional affirmations have gotten a bad rap, and rightly so. Let's use the example of that overweight 35-year-old mother again that I mentioned in step #3 to demonstrate how we could create some progressively better worded affirmations based on her goal of losing weight. Here is the first, and most common type of affirmation that she might choose to try:

"I am healthy and thin, and at my perfect weight!"

If this obviously overweight lady were to repeat this somewhat torturous "positive affirmation" to herself every day, her deeper subconscious mind would probably resist it and think, "Oh brother, what a lie!" There is even a risk that she might become more frustrated and depressed, and potentially stop even trying to diet, or in a subconscious protest of resenting to be manipulated or deceived, this affirmation might compel her to actually eat more! Don't create an affirmation that appears or feels insincere, ridiculous, or totally false. You can't positively "fool" yourself in this way, no matter how hard you try. Your subconscious mind is far wiser and more intelligent than that. Let's move on to the next affirmation.

"I will reach my target weight of 140 pounds by December 25, 2016."

This affirmation might initially seem to be better, as it is more specific, but in reality, it is also not very good. Setting date specific targets when GOAL-SETTING is generally very good, but for AFFIRMATIONS, creating too much specificity could actually prove to be bad. The wording in this example applies too much pressure on a person to perform and achieve within a certain time, rather than to simply make steady, continual progress, and one day reach their goal. When our subconscious is pushed too hard, it will often resist, or move in opposite ways. Effective, easily digestible affirmations are typically soft, realistic and subtly suggestive rather than hard, unrealistic, and overly demanding. Think of the subconscious as a little child that if pushed too hard, will either totally reject, or do the exact opposite of what he or she is asked.

Another bad point about this sort of affirmation is to consider how this lady would feel if she in fact lost an impressive 50 pounds by December 25, 2016, but is now at 160 pounds rather than her target weight of 140 pounds? She has accomplished a commendable feat by losing those 50 pounds, but will not feel truly satisfied or even happy due to the specific "rules" and strict expectations that she had. Reinforcing feelings or behaviors through affirmations is entirely different from planning or setting goals with projected results. The "little child" that is your subconscious will respond much better to praise and positive rewards for gradual progress rather than to harsh demands with strict deadlines on achieving some challenging goal. Be careful with the wording of your affirmations, and be gentle on yourself. Your subconscious is a living, sensitive thing, and not just a big block of ice that can be easily pushed around with enough force. Let's look at the next affirmation.

"I am becoming happier and healthier every day;
losing more and more weight along the way."

Before I even give a comment, perhaps you could intuitively feel that this affirmation seems to be really good - and you are right! Here are the reasons:

It is rhythmically balanced, and flows like a poetic song. It is interesting to note that some of the world's most beloved prayers, quotes and proverbs also have a measured, rhythmic, almost melodic quality about them. For whatever reason, this seems to be important and impactful on the soul.

It encourages gradual, continual progress, rather than expecting or demanding a quick result. The gradual process and journey in life is oftentimes far more important than precisely meeting your goal as soon as you can. It is more important to note what kind of person you are becoming through your efforts, rather than focus solely upon mere victories or achievements. The risk that most people face when setting challenging goals for themselves is the chance that they might possibly quit. By focusing more on affirming small, consistent progress leading closer and closer towards the achievement of a big goal, the likelihood of giving up on that goal before it is reached becomes substantially less.

It is emotionally positive and uplifting, and even slightly humorous. By adding the word "happier," this affirmation takes on a fun, light, jovial quality. Affirmations should stir something in us emotionally in order to really turbo-charge their effect. This entire process of personal development, including the use of affirmations, should also feel somewhat fun and perhaps even humorous, rather than simply be a serious, painful challenge that we have to work hard on and suffer through in order to achieve. Instead of trying to make the process serious and perfect, try to make the whole process perfectly fun!

The Power of Positive, Leading Questions

Another form of an affirmation would be to phrase the purpose and theme of the affirmation into a positive, subtly leading question to regularly think about, such as:

Why do I deserve to lose a little weight every day, and gradually become thinner and happier along the way?
What small things can I do today that will help me to lose just a little more weight?
What new, good things am I feeling through the slow but steady progress that I am making on my diet?
How am I increasing my willpower and becoming stronger as a person by staying on this diet, which is actually much easier than I had originally thought?
What fun, new things will I be able to do after I have lost just a little bit more weight?

Creating positive, leading questions with built-in, suggestive nuances such as these might seem a bit difficult at first, but with some practice and a little imagination, they will become easier and easier to make. Imagine that you are writing these affirmations or positive, leading questions for a young, extremely intelligent, but highly sensitive and impressionable child - which is a good way to think about and describe the nature of your own subconscious mind.

Try to get into a daily habit of saying these affirmations when in an emotionally confident, happy state. I have found that 5 minutes in the morning immediately when you wake up; and 5 minutes again in the evening just before you go to bed works best. The morning time sets the mood and energy for the day, and the evening time feeds some good ideas for your subconscious to work on as you peacefully fall asleep.

Give affirmations a try. They really do work when done right!

Step 7. Actively participate in life; connect with other people; and give as much as you possibly can.

In order to really tap into the magic of life, you are going to have to actively participate and contribute to the world, and interact with as many different types of people as you can. There is something valuable that we can learn from everybody, regardless of who they are.

I often say in these blogs that if you want more from life, then you are going to have to give more to life, but with the important caveat that you must give freely from your heart, with no strings attached. "Freely" means that you are willing to give or help out another person without any expectation of being paid or given anything back in return.

Now, I can imagine some people thinking, "Isn't it self-defeating and somewhat naive to just give, give, and then give some more?" What these people are worried about is that they will not get their "fair share" immediately paid back in return. Most people imagine "giving" in life as simply a different way of managing their personal checkbook, where credits and debts should be maintained and kept in balance at all times.

In order to really profit from the power of life, focusing more on simply giving is far more advantageous in the long run then thinking in terms of a calculated system of "give and take." Don't worry about quick, little profits or be overly cheap or cautious when contributing to the "bank of life," because in time, whatever you honestly and freely give out is going to come back to you in much greater ways, even if it is through different channels, paths or means from what you might have initially expected. Over the years in my life, this has proven true, time and time again.

For example, whenever I go to a restaurant with a friend or a business partner, and treat them to lunch, almost invariably within the same week, when I go to another restaurant with a totally different person, he or she will typically, and somewhat surprisingly offer and want to pay for me.

However, I have also noticed that during those times when I was not being as generous or giving as usual, and didn't offer to treat other people to lunch, usually other people that I met later in the same week, would typically never offer to treat me. The reason for this phenomenon is that other people can sense a generous, giving person from the aura that they have built up and project through their kind, generous acts of freely giving. Other people will feel more inclined to want to be kind, generous and giving to that freely giving person in return. This might sound strange, but it really is true! Perhaps you have also experienced something similar to this in life.

Voluntarily be nice and show kindness to other people, and soon other people, including complete strangers, will become extraordinarily helpful and show more kindness back to you. Whatever you want, you must be willing to freely give, and in time, that which is given will be returned in greater ways back to you. This undoubtedly seems to be one of the basic "rules" of life.

"Give, and you shall receive." ~ Luke 6:38

Summary

Exercise and eat right; and make an effort to stay in areas of fairly bright light.

Straighten up your house, throw away the junk, and better manage and simplify your life.

Clearly understand why you want to change, and what the consequences are if you don't.

Decide on who and what you want to become, and then live and breathe that role 24 hours a day until you have become what you have always wanted to be.

Decorate your room with things that will help you to move towards becoming the greater person that you want to be. Also consider making dream boards and practice visualization techniques.